Sleep Anxiety Tips
If you have trouble getting to sleep, or staying asleep, it’s not unlikely that something is playing on your mind, and probably in your body as well. Apart form the usual advice around healthy diet and exercise, here are some tips that may help you!
Before bed. Limit screen time. If you’d like to have pleasant dreams then do, or read, something conducive to that goal. If you don’t want to be dreaming about murder and mayhem, then leave the thriller, or the online news to another time.
You’re in bed so you have decided that sleep is now your priority. If sleep is not your priority, and you truly want to figure out your thing now, then get up, write it down on a piece of paper, and keep writing until you run out of things to write. Just getting the facts down can simplify or clarify your thing.
Distraction. Choose another thing to focus on instead. Breath is a good one. Count your breaths 1 to 10, then 10 down to 1, count on the in breath, or swap and count on the out breath. Watch the breath closely, now short, now long, now deeper, pause at the changeover between in and out...
Notice your breath at different places on your body. For example, feel your belly rise and fall, just watch that with curiosity. You might focus on the breath passing through the nostrils, cooler air coming in, warmer air coming out. Or you might feel the subtle breeze of the breath passing across your upper lip. Or you might choose to feel the breath filling and contracting the whole body. Play with whatever feels most interesting.
One of my clients, Karen, uses the ‘Harlem breath’ technique, where you say ‘Har’ to yourself on the in breath, ‘Lem’ actually spoken on the out breath. Let the breaths become slower, shorter, breath through the nose, letting the vocalization go. Choose your own word if you like.
Physical pain. If Distraction (above) doesn’t work try imagining breathing into and out of the pain, as if the breath is like a healing energy flowing through your body, gently through the painful area. Give it time and the pain will change.
Alternatively, bring your focus to a part of the body that feels good, breathe into that, imagine that area gradually expanding breath by breath, expanding that good feeling until it fills the painful area, and ultimately the whole body.
No distraction. Take the thoughts head on. What is the main thought? How did it start? How did we start building a bigger mental story from this one thought? How does the belief in this thought make you feel? Cranky, fearful, upset, angry? Is the thought true? How can you be sure its true? How would you be if you didn’t have that thought? You have some choices here, they’re your thoughts afterall.
Now if you had a baby that was cranky, fearful, upset, angry, what would you do with her/him. Imagine doing that with your poor mind now. Create a little separation between your awareness of your mind, and it’s stressful contents. Pretend for a moment that your mind is a baby. Imagine picking up the crying baby, rocking it in your arms, talking kindly to it. Not ignoring it, but paying it full attention. Even our minds need our love and kindness. This separation between awareness and thoughts/emotions is important and very do-able. Our mind may be quite grateful that we’ve given it loving permission to take some time off just now, and just be nurtured.
Divide and conquer. Thoughts trigger emotions in us. It may be that your issue has grown quite complex, with several strands of story and emotions involved. The whole sorry saga has likely wound you up in knots. So now pick the most prevalent emotion for you, just one. It may be that the emotion involves a craving. Either a craving to be rid of something, or a craving to grasp hold of something. Either way, the experience of the unresolved craving will set up an unpleasant sensation in your mind and your body (assuming that you didn’t get out of bed and reach for the chocolate!).
Now, where does this emotion or craving feel most prevalent in your body? Is it pleasant, unpleasant, or neither pleasant nor unpleasant? Maybe it’s a sinking feeling in the stomach. Maybe your ears are steaming in anger. Bring all your attention to that spot in your body and just watch with detached curiosity, detached but kindly. If your attention drifts, come back to this place in your body.
You may notice that the sensation varies in intensity, now intense, painful, hot, now less intense, now more intense, now for a few moments nothing, now not so intense, and so on. Gaps may open between bouts of the sensation. Keep your attention on the gaps at that place as well. Gradually, if you keep your attention on this place in your body the intensity of the body-felt emotion will always change and soften. Perhaps that felt sensation in your body has changed completely. This is the power of your own mindfulness at work.
How does it feel now? Once this body part has settled somewhat, you might notice that you’re less wound up in knots than you were. The energy of the whole story may have dissipated. Whether you think your story is still true or not, you can make a deal with yourself to check in on it again … tomorrow.
Rebalance. Sometimes our head gets so busy, we actually disconnect from our body to a degree. We go through the motions physically, but our thoughts are elsewhere. At times like this we lose our grounding, our sense of centre. Bodywork is obviously one way we can reconnect with our body, rebalance those sore and tender spots, and have some time-out from the busy thought stream. And you’ll sleep better!
Christmas
What a year it has been! Thank you sooo much for your support. I feel very lucky to have you all in my life!
All my very best wishes to you all at Christmas and a happy New Year. Please hold your loved ones close this holiday season.
May you look forward to the New Year with hope and enthusiasm. That’s what I’m planning to do.
At Upper Hutt my last day is Friday 20 December, restart Wednesday 8 January.
At Ngaio my last day is Tuesday 24 December, restart Monday 6 January.
Some Admin plus Terms and Conditions stuff 😊
Prices for 2025:
Prices for 2025 will remain the same as for 2024, for the whole calendar year.
Change to Membership Terms and Conditions:
Previously, price changes did not come into effect on Memberships until the anniversary of the membership. Now these price changes will occur automatically from the first payment after the general price increase. I will give at least 3 months notice of price increases. Usually these are quite modest, partly reflecting the increased costs I face to provide services.
You can avoid the price increase if you choose to pay the 12-month membership up front. These are the Health and Wellness Multipacks (12 or 18 Pack) available on my Services page.
Missed appointments:
Unfortunately, if you forget to come for your appointment, you are still liable to pay for it. There is no change to my policy on this one.
I send out two email reminders, plus a text reminder. Then I will make myself available for you at the agreed time, at the clinic where I travel to and pay rent. If you do not turn up, and you don’t have a really good reason, then I have to insist on payment for the missed appointment.
I have been, and will continue to be, understanding with those that have sudden eleventh-hour issues that mean they need to reschedule. You can change your own appointment from the reminder email, anything up to 12 hours prior to the appointment time. Under 12 hours, you will need to text or call me to alter.
Changes to individual appointment dates do not also alter the regular payment date on memberships, nor to the future payment schedule.
Text reminders:
These automatically generated reminders, one day before the appointment, come from an overseas number where my scheduling software is based. (For that reason they can sometimes be a little unreliable.) However, DO NOT REPLY to those reminders, as I will never see the reply. Instead, please ALWAYS contact me on my own cell 027 244 5886.
Pro Bono Sessions
These will continue in 2025, but you will need to contact me directly to make an appointment by email to paxbodyworknz@gmail.com or by calling me on 0272445886.
Alternatively rebook for the following month, on the day you see me.
This will mean that there may be a little more flexibility as to the day and time of the pro bono appointment, but you won’t be able to book yourself online anymore.
Next Newsletter will be in February 2025
Pro Bono Days
Ngaio - Tuesday 17 December
Upper Hutt - Wednesday 18 December
FREE for anyone new, or in need.
Please share my website, or this page, with anyone you know that may benefit. Or click on this link to book now.
For back issues of this newsletter click here
With caring and kindness,
Rhys Dwyer
If you know anyone, from kids up who maybe struggling with body-held tension, energy levels, stress, anxiety, or choices, then please ask them to check me out. Bodywork and present moment awareness may just make a big difference.
Note that bodywork is always complimentary to prudent medical care.