The Basic Fault
Often, I have talked about how past abuse trauma for some people, can be stored in our body as negative energy, either regionally or body-wide. The psychological effects of this stored trauma often persist into present life, unconsciously affecting how we operate in the present.
However, what about other people? Those that perceive an absence, a lack, or suspect they are in some way faulty. Yet there is no specific major trauma they can recall?
In the West we have this nuclear family structure, where the kids are reliant on two overcommitted parents. The relationship with one or both parents may be strained, or absent; or the child is forced to grow up too soon, to become independent, as our culture tends to idealise. But there’s a longing or emptiness than can manifest in the wake of insufficient attention. It’s a trauma of neglect, rather than of specific incidents.
Kids often turn to their peers to fill this void, which the other kids are not mature enough to provide. Which compounds the problem. Relying on friends’ opinions for self-validation can lead to extreme behaviour’s, or further emotional scarring.
Neglect can lead to a gnawing sense of emptiness, a deeply felt flaw, unworthiness, or loneliness. Later in life it may manifest as irritability, open aggression, people pleasing or fawning, anxiety, depression, imposter syndrome or control-freak type behaviour.
It may result in difficulty sustaining relationships, sexual misconduct, neediness or over attachment to another person, or fear of abandonment. In others there is a relentless drive to achieve, or to acquire more and more money or possessions, or status. They live in constant stress. The present moment is often an uncomfortable place to be, they quickly get bored, looking for the next thing, always looking at their phone; they need to be somewhere else, they may turn to alcohol or drugs to facilitate that.
Or they maybe subject to ongoing health challenges which seem to have no obvious root cause.
Psychoanalysts term this lack as the Basic Fault, and it is widespread in Western cultures that value independence, but devalue community and the wider family. If the person can’t put their finger on how it started for them, they may blame themselves for being fundamentally flawed, or blame other people for getting in their way. Or if they can trace it back, they may blame the parent that went temporarily or permanently missing in their young life.
While the origin of the neglect may be parent-centered, it also has a wider cultural genesis as well.
Neglect trauma has an emotional component, usually with emptiness or fear at the root, and this energy may often be body-held, just like abuse trauma. It may be that the person will benefit from psychotherapy to elucidate the root feelings and work them through.
To the extent that these feelings are also stored physically in the body, the soma, bodywork may help to bring these feelings to conscious awareness. Somato Emotional Release, which is part of Craniosacral Therapy, can help rebalance the autonomic nervous system and resolve any negative energy loci held in the body. And in partnership with the client’s own inner wisdom, and some dialogue, to identify the underlying emotional issues and begin to work through those.
The first goal is to help the person function better in this present life; the second is to realise a sense of purpose and hope going forward.
(The above research is paraphrased from Mark Espstein’s ‘Thoughts Without A Thinker’, but also with ideas from Gabor Mate’, John Upledger, and Bessel van der Kolk.)
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With caring and kindness,
Rhys Dwyer
If you know anyone, from kids up who maybe struggling with body-held tension, energy levels, stress, anxiety, or choices, then please ask them to check me out. Bodywork and present moment awareness may just make a big difference.
Note that bodywork is always complimentary to prudent medical care.