Self Respect
Recently I came across a beautiful book that ‘reveals the power of Aboriginal spirituality as a profound source of contentment for anyone willing to listen.’ The Dreaming Path by Paul Callaghan with Uncle Paul Gordon.
One of the chapters gave ideas that anyone can use to build self-respect. I think sometimes we are our own worst critics. We often get down on ourselves with opinions and judgements that just aren’t true, and are definitely not helpful to our health, our sense of purpose or our happiness.
So this month I have quoted part of that chapter with a great exercise to help build our self-respect, our self-love and how to balance the ego in all of this:
As you build your self-respect, you build your ability for self-love. It can be hard to be self-loving when often self-loving can be labelled as selfish. It is important to acknowledge to yourself that being self-loving is not the same as being selfish. In Aboriginal culture, loving yourself is respecting that you are conceived in love, born in love and living in love. Loving yourself is an important element of loving your place and all things in your place. By loving who we are and believing in ourselves, we are in a far better position to walk our footsteps and live a good story.
As you build your self-respect and self-love and begin to connect to the real you, be warned: ego will not want to end its former, unhealthy relationship with you.
That ego is very tricky. He is also really stubborn. He won't want to leave you, so will disguise himself so you might not see him. You might be planning to do something good for others and your ego will say to you, 'You are doing the right thing. So go ahead and do it.' But deep down inside you know you are doing it so you can be noticed. Ego has won.
But you might be planning to do something good for others and you're not really worried if anybody knows about what you have done. In this case, you have done it for the right reasons and ego has not had any part to play. So when you are doing something, ask yourself, Am I doing this because it is the right thing to do, or am I doing it because want to be noticed?
EXERCISE - BUILDING SELF-RESPECT
Listed below are a number of ways you can begin working on building your self-respect. Take as much time as you need to think about each of the items and how they relate to you. After you have done this, choose one item only and convert it into a written action that you will focus on for at least two weeks.
After two weeks have elapsed, review your progress and if you are ready, choose another item and do the same thing. Continue working through the list (for the rest of your life if need be).
Don't let others' opinions about you control you.
Show respect for others.
Identify what makes you feel good and do at least one of these things each day as a priority.
Be in touch with your emotions and take care of your emotional needs.
Maintain a positive attitude.
Don't put yourself down.
Let go of anger at those who have hurt you.
Know yourself, accept who you are and be true to that person.
Believe you are worthy of respect.
Stop trying to keep up with everyone.
Don't let anybody force you to be or do anything you don't want to be or do simply to gain their approval.
Be friendly.
Don't compare yourself to others, try to fit in or try to be 'normal'.
Show you care.
Cast aside envy.
Don't do things that are against your values, morals or ethics.
Connect with positive people.
Learn to say no.
Work on building your confidence.
Trust your choices.
Never stop learning.
Be truthful.
Remind yourself that whatever you do today is enough.
Learn to deal with criticism.
Connect with something spiritual.
Make good decisions.
Don't let the past dictate your present.
Don't let others get to you.
Accept your responsibilities.
Say sorry.
Don't rely on others to feel good about yourself.
Learn to accept compliments.
Look in the mirror each day and say out loud three things you love about yourself.
Admit when you are wrong.
Focus on your positive traits.
Stay humble.
Forgive yourself.
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With caring and kindness,
Rhys Dwyer
If you know anyone, from kids up who maybe struggling with body-held tension, energy levels, stress, anxiety, or choices, then please ask them to check me out. Bodywork and present moment awareness may just make a big difference.
Note that bodywork is always complimentary to prudent medical care.