Is that thought true?
We’re all probably aware of fake-news, scammers, conspiracy theorists and so on. But could there be a faker lurking closer to home?
Most people struggle with being present moment focused consistently. Thoughts arise constantly, taking our focus away from what is before us. If they are helpful thoughts, then all good, follow them through. But what might be an unhelpful thought?
Unhelpful thoughts are those ones that lead to anxiety, misery, or anger. Unless you prefer to be anxious, miserable or angry (some people do), but you just can’t shake that thought, then try the following.
This advice comes from a lady who was in this state to an extreme level. Her system got overloaded, she collapsed, but when she came around, she had an epiphany, which solved everything for her. Her name is Byron Katie, and now she helps thousands of people around the world solve their thought-based problems with four simple questions.
The first thing to realise is that all of the misery begins with a random thought that we have. Wait half an hour, another random thought will arise, then another. What were you thinking about at breakfast 12 days ago? Does it matter? Some random thought.
If you have a particularly repetitive thought, perhaps about some event in the past, or some future worry, that leads to the misery spiral, then Byron Katie says we should interrogate the thought with four simple questions:
1. Is it true? If the answer is No skip to question 3.
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? Is it possible that we have misperceived, or misremembered a situation? Or maybe we have just taken someone else’s opinion of us at face value? Regardless of the answer now go to question 3.
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? Ie what kind of misery gets triggered for you by this thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought? This is when we realise that we have a choice! Katie advises: “Closing your eyes, return to the situation. Take a moment to reflect, observe, and experience the situation again, this time without the thought. Who or what you would be without the thought? How would you see or feel about the other person? Drop all of your judgments. Notice what is revealed.”
So, now the coup de grace is the Turnaround.
She asks you now to come up with statements that are the opposite to your thought, and test them out.
Let’s say my thought was, “I’m too tired to do bodywork today.” Then I’m miserable because I’m letting everyone down. I’ll lose clients. I won’t get paid, I can’t pay the bills, I’m worthless, my wife will kick me out, I’ll be out on the street. What a loser! ….
So turnaround thoughts might be:
“I’ve actually felt more tired in the past and still done ok.” or
“I’ll put my feet on the floor, take a shower, drink a coffee, then check back in. I’ll feel better then.” or
“Remember that 17 year old boy with cancer you helped last week? How sore and tired he was when he arrived, how bright and hopeful his eyes were afterwards? What a privilege to be able to help him. I’m not tired at all, I’m inspired!”
It is possible to create turnaround, or opposite, statements/thoughts that can be equally as true, if not more true than your original thought. Who knew?!
So which thought is more helpful to my current state? Am I better to be tired or inspired? Choose one.
If we use this questioning to constantly interrogate our most destructive thoughts, then we will eventually find that we recognise these random thoughts as just temporary interlopers, fakers, that come and go, but are no longer welcome, nor able to take up permanent residence. We stop taking them seriously. Then they lose power, and eventually they come less often.
However, while thoughts are still about, we now have the power to manipulate them in our favour, by checking out their opposites (turnarounds)! Now that is powerful.
Then we can live a little more here every day, in the present moment, in a positive state, which is where real life unfolds, not in the past or the future. We can choose to be an active agent in life, participating in our own inspired, individual ways!
For more check out any Byron Katie books at your library, search for her doing this on YouTube, or check out her website thework.com
Honeymoon
This June newsletter is a little early, as when June rolls around Miriam and I are finally heading away on Honeymoon! We are off to Sydney for the Vivid light show, and Cairns for the Great Barrier Reef cruise, and the Daintree Forest. Can’t wait!
Learn to do a five minute ZB yourself!
If you would like to learn a 5-minute Zero Balancing exercise that you can do on your friends and family, while they are seated, just ask me. It’s great for relaxing and bringing someone back to presence if they’ve had a difficult day, or a stressful moment. Kids could learn this!
Pro Bono Days
Ngaio - Tuesday 28 May (5 spots left), Tuesday 25 June
Upper Hutt - Wednesday 29 May (1 spot left), Wednesday 26 June
Please share my website, or this page, with anyone you know that may benefit. Or click on this link to book now.
For back issues of this newsletter click here
With caring and kindness,
Rhys Dwyer
If you know anyone, from kids up who maybe struggling with body-held tension, energy levels, stress, anxiety, or choices, then please ask them to check me out. Bodywork and present moment awareness may just make a big difference.
Note that bodywork is always complimentary to prudent medical care.