What is the secret to lifting our lives to a happier, meaningful existence?
‘Should I or shouldn’t I?’
What can we do when we don’t know what the right choice is?
Some of my favourite quotes of the month maybe a pointer to these questions. Read on for my take:
“I think, therefore I am (Decartes) … not here.” Thich Nhat Hanh
“You cannot suffer in the past or the future because they do not exist. What you are suffering is your memory and imagination.”
“As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.” Rumi
“There’s nothing in this world that happens to me. It happens for me. Don’t believe me. Test it for yourself.” Byron Katie
“Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.” Eckhart Tolle
I recently read* that roughly 85% of the world’s population are suffering from some form of mental anguish. This is a damning statistic on the unfulfilling nature of modern life, and is a consequence of negative views of life that range from demanding, antagonistic, disappointing, frightening, tragic, hopeless, or evil, to miserable. At the bottom of this barrel lies ‘hell on earth’, it is no wonder that some just decide to end it all prematurely or evade it temporarily with ‘substances’. However, the majority caught in a downward spiral will die sooner than they ought to, because our “biology follows belief” as the author Bruce Lipton discovered. Mental anguish leads to physical illness.
The more fulfilled 15% view life as hopeful, harmonious, meaningful and even benign or perfect. Probably Rumi, Byron Katie and Thich Nhat Hanh would score somewhere in the latter states, along with Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Albert Einstein and Mahatma Ghandhi.
The thing is we are put on this earth “to observe, to learn, to grow and to love”, as the Queen recently reminded us.
Once we realise that we have that agency, that choice, then it is very possible to improve our own view of life and have a really positive effect on all those around us.
We don’t have to try to emulate Michelle Obama, or her famous husband, or Dame Noeline Taurua or Richie McCaw!
Being ‘ordinary’, is enough, and plenty.
SO WHAT IS THE SECRET?
In our ordinariness:
“To live with care and kindness is all that is necessary. The rest reveals itself in due time.” David R Hawkins
Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl also said it plainly:
“Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire.”
The slightly challenging aspect of the secret is that the care and kindness has to be applied to everyone and everything. It has to become our modus operandi.
PRESENCE
In order to realise Love, or kindness, in the broader sense, we need to live in the present moment. So we are not so subject to our memories or our fears about the future. In this moment everything is as it should be.
The ‘stuff’ that happens is not meant to beat you down, it’s meant to make you stronger (to learn, to grow). Rather than being fearful, be curious, ask: ‘What am I meant to learn here?’
The stories we usually make up about what happens is no help. “I think, therefore I am,” is not useful here either, because as Thich Nhat Hanh points out, when we are obsessed with thinking we are “not here”, not present.
In those moments just bring it back to your breath, your body, be in your feet. Let the deeper presence within your heart shine through and be in control, not the random thought machine that is your brain. The brain is a great servant, but an incompetent master. Speaking of which …
CHOICES
Choices have consequences. It is inevitable that we will quite often make poor choices for ourselves, we all do it. But sometimes we don’t know what the right choice is. Choices, even simple ones such as what to eat, that seem at the time as in concert with our desires, come back to bite us.
I’m often a prime culprit. Those darned pastries have been put on this earth to torment me!
What to do about it?
How do we tell the difference between a choice that is good for us, or otherwise?
I recently learned a technique that may help you make better choices for yourself. One that bypasses the thinking mind to a large extent, allows the wisdom of your body, and the universe, to give you an instant answer to the ‘should I or shouldn’t I?’ questions that arise daily. Then at least if you still choose the wrong path, it will be in the full knowledge that you’re flying in the face of the wisdom of the universe, lol!
It’s a technique that is best demonstrated, rather than described, so please feel to ask me at our next session. And we can also discuss any of these concepts.
If nothing else the technique will give you a moment’s pause (presence) between the flame of desire, and that impulsive purchase! Or between being shamed by the boss, and the impulsive retort. (With practice you’ll develop wiser impulses, in the meantime pause 😊)
PERFECT
Keep up your own efforts towards living more in the present moment. It will have a huge effect on your life, and by osmosis, for those around you. Taking time to help others, and be present for them, will also expand your own horizons. Together we should aim to shift some people out of that dreaded 85%, and to living more positively.
You have been chosen to live in this time, at this moment. Now is the only moment that is important, all else is your mind playing tricks. Ultimately, we can realise this gift of life we have been given is, actually, perfect.
With caring and kindness,
Rhys Dwyer
If you know anyone, from teens up who maybe struggling with body-held tension, energy levels, stress, anxiety, or seeking more meaning in life, then please ask them to check me out. Bodywork and present moment awareness may just make a big difference.
* David R Hawkins - Power vs. Force