Are you on Automatic?
Three secrets to taking charge
Do you let what happens in a day dictate how you feel? If you’re on automatic, then that is probably the case. When we’re habitually following (rather than directing) our thinking mind all day, then we are actually on automatic mode. When you’re on automatic, you delegate your habitual responses to dictate how you normally react, and feel, in a given situation. Our own peace of mind is then given over to other people, most of whom are probably cruising along in their own versions of automatic.
It may seem scary to alter the conditioning of your lifetime. But ask yourself what might make you happier? Or less fearful. Or less prone to illness? You have to find your own motivation. Then, if you still want to change your habitual response(s) read on.
The first secret to getting out of automatic is to come back to present moment awareness. We don’t have to automatically assume that if we are not using every single waking moment thinking, worrying, then we are wasting our time. I would put it to you that the opposite is the case. When you are not present, then you are missing out on life, which only ever happens in the now.
Try to consciously spend periods of time each day, being as present as possible. Being open to what comes. Using your senses. Just note that a sound arises, then fades. The sun comes out from behind a cloud, warms our skin for a while, then goes behind again. We don’t need to follow these temporary phenomena. All things arise, then pass, including thoughts. As a teacher suggested recently during meditation training, treat your thoughts like another temporary sense sensation. Thoughts arise then pass, let them go, then keep coming back to the present.
When we are more present, we have a better chance to observe potentially triggering situations emerging, and have more time to anticipate, giving more opportunity for the second secret to take effect.
The second secret will drastically improve your day, if you take the time to practice it. You may be someone who habitually has the same emotion when you get ‘triggered’, you recognise it as your habitual trait. Not only does the emotion bring you down, but then you beat yourself up for doing it again (the second arrow).
The time frame between the trigger, and the resulting habitual emotion taking full effect is only a few seconds. In the first second adrenaline is already flooding your system, your brain is rapidly ascending to ‘fight, flight or freeze’, and your prepared automatic response is locked and loaded, ready to ruin your day. There is usually not enough time to think of alternatives in those few seconds.
The answer is to do some preplanning. You know what your trigger and habitual negative response is. Decide in advance what you would rather your response is. And make sure this response is positive, that its going to lift your emotional state. Positive emotional states have much greater vibrational energy than negative ones.
A simple example: If you often get triggered to anger by someone cutting you off in traffic, decide in advance that this is probably going to happen again today, and when it happens, you’re going to take a breath, then silently wish that person a wonderful day.
‘You mean let them get away with it?!’ With what? They probably have no idea, they’re on automatic too. Who knows what is going on in their world right now? Even if it was intentional and personal (doubtful), is there any point in ruining your day, because their world is screwed up right now?
Our only rational response to someone else being in a bad place is compassion. Whether it has any effect on them is irrelevant. It’s your state of mind that you’re safe-guarding here. Charity, love, compassion, equanimity – these are all much higher energy states that you can substitute for your habitual response. It may seem awkward at first, but it can be transforming if you stick with it.
Traffic, or relationships at work, recreation or home. Try it. Perhaps start with easier one’s like traffic, then gradually look at the more problematic ones. It may be that you decide, in advance, just to breathe deeply three times, smile, then walk away, no response may be the best option sometimes. Your antagonist may be disappointed that they didn’t get the usual rise out of you. So be it.
A third secret is to take note of which part of your body you feel triggered emotions emanating from, and we can look at releasing any held-energy there during your next bodywork session.
Craniosacral Therapy
I’m looking forward to another four-day training course on Craniosacral Therapy with an Australian expert, in Christchurch later in August. Amongst many skills I learnt last year was a mouth protocol for releasing dental and facial trauma. This has applications for head trauma, facial bones carrying tension from dental treatments, and sometimes facial bones can trap and activate nerves that may over-stimulate the sympathetic nervous system, leading to heightened fear/anger states or anxiety.
If you’d like to know more about Craniosacral Therapy click to this link. I often mix some Craniosacral techniques with Zero Balancing sessions. Let me know if you’d like to try a dedicated mouth protocol some time.
This year’s course is on Somato Emotional Release - I can’t wait!
Media Corner
What else? From 1983 - The Pointer Sisters
Pro Bono Days
Ngaio - Tueday 22 August, Upper Hutt - Wednesday 23 August
Please share my website, or this page, with anyone you know that may benefit. Or click on this link to book now.
With caring and kindness,
Rhys Dwyer
If you know anyone, from kids up who maybe struggling with body-held tension, energy levels, stress, anxiety, or choices, then please ask them to check me out. Bodywork and present moment awareness may just make a big difference.
Note that bodywork is always complimentary to prudent medical care.