Welcome to all the new people that I have seen this month, and kia ora to everyone! This is my monthly newsletter in which I talk about present moment awareness mainly. Along with the bodywork that many of you have received for your self-care, I believe living in the present is the key to allaying may of the stressful and emotional issues we find ourselves living with in this ‘human condition’.
As some of you know, I often incorporate the present moment awareness theme in discussion during the sessions. But also when I purposely intend my own presence, the actual bodywork is always enhanced too. See how presence distinguishes the difference between Cure or Healing? (below).
Our Holiday!
I’m sorry that I will have to miss you all in April due to being away on holiday (from 2-25 April). Miriam is taking me to meet her family in the Netherlands. She hasn’t seen them since before Covid. We are also looking forward to taking in much more of the culture and nature while we’re there – it will be tulip season. Fijne vakantie!
Follow me at Rhys Dwyer Zero Balancing on Facebook for photos or @rhysdwyer6 on Instagram.
Cure or Healing?
Doctors specialise in curing people of disease - prescribing the right antibiotic; surgery for the failed hip or knee joint; rehab for an injury. That’s what we use doctors for, right? - to fix the broken bit or fend off the nasty invader. I really take my hat off to the medical profession, they usually do a amazing job in chronically constrained circumstances.
However, during the cure it is not likely that much rebalancing will happen - to prevent the illness, or another one, from taking hold again.
Healing is a little different. Healing means to make whole, an overall physical and mental rebalancing enabling health.
Bodies get sick when the physical and mental whole is out of balance - we’re less able to fend off the ‘nasty invader’, we become ‘ripe for the picking’. For a while the body may compensate, give small warning signals – the back pain, the nausea, the rapid heartbeat, or the anxiety. If we ignore the warning signals long enough, then eventually the toxic environment that our body-mind is dwelling in, will allow more insistent symptoms of full-blown disease to take hold – cancer, heart, diabetes, anxiety, depression, desperation ...
Ideally, we would love to be cured and healed.
It is possible to heal, to rebalance, yet not be cured of a particular condition. It is very possible to achieve a measure of physical and mental balance, even if a primary complaint can’t be resolved. I have clients with long term health issues who are living their best, most fulfilled lives. They’ve worked out what’s important in life, and they get great fulfilment from being in synchrony with their own purpose, in the present moment. It’s possible that this positive attitude may extend life, but so much more important, is living well - whether the time be short or long.
To that extent I would suggest that healing is a way more important outcome than cure alone, because it speaks to transformative possibilities for the person. That makes life a much larger thing than birth-procreation-work-stress then death.
I tell people that I am not the healer, their body (and mind) is. I’m just here to give things a nudge in the right direction. Touch therapy – releases tension, improves energy flow, relaxes – great for body and timeout for the brain. But there’s more …
> Compassionate Listening <
How much time does our GP spend with us on average these days? They’re in ‘cure mode’, they under so much pressure and most simply don’t have the time anymore for meaningful conversations. So they often miss the vital connection with us that we crave, human to human. Specialist doctors really are just there for their specialty and nothing more. For most of us, the greater part of healing is just being heard, human to human, but we seldom get the opportunity.
Having someone neutral that we can just ‘shoot the breeze’ with, sharing whatever is going on for us at that time, is sometimes a welcome option. Maybe we’re in a good space, maybe we have fears, maybe we’re struggling to stay present and grounded? If we want to unload, or ask an opinion, we should be able to.
This life stuff can be tricky sometimes, none of us have all the answers. Perhaps there is historic trauma. Or worry about what the hell is going to happen next in this crazy world. Past conditioning (shame, guilt, anger, sadness) and future orientation (fear, anxiety, worry, stress) keep us from being present, which is where life actually take place.
Conversation is a wonderful way to expand healing possibilities, especially at times when things may be a little desperate. I am compassionate, discreet, and a good listener. I’m not going to analyse or judge - I’m just a fellow human being, sharing the present moment with you. Simple on the surface, but healing deep down. And it doesn’t always have to be about serious stuff! :)
So I’m here to listen to your story. Your choice though, always. It’s your hour of ‘me-time’, your healing time, so please, if you want more talk, more time being heard - or more quiet, more touch - it’s there for you, human to human.
Audio Corner
Continuing with the healing, compassionate listening and present moment themes (you’ll need Spotify):
‘Thich Nhat Hanh, the Buddhist monk, author and Nobel Peace Prize nominee, sits down with Oprah to discuss his dedication to mindful meditation and his legacy of nonviolent opposition to the Vietnam War. In 1966, the spiritual leader met with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and urged him to publicly denounce the Vietnam War. After the meeting, Dr. King nominated Nhat Hanh for the Nobel Peace Prize, saying, "His ideas for peace, if applied, would build a monument to ecumenism, to world brotherhood, to humanity." Nhat Hanh also explains how to practice "compassionate listening," which he believes will help ease suffering, end wars and change the world for the better.’
34 minutes - listen in your car. There is so much wisdom in this short dialogue!
Thich Nhat Hanh with Oprah - May 2018
Pro Bono Days
It seems the word is spreading about Pro Bono days. 9 new people came along for their first session this month (March), along with a few from past months. Pro Bono day is one day each month at each location where people can receive a 25 minute session for no charge. The hope is that we can at least improve on their main issue, in that time.
For some of these people it may mean the difference between being able to work or not, being pain-free for a while and being able to function, or not. For others it is a chance to try this relatively unknown therapy at no risk, and see whether it might help with their regular self-care going forward.
Having had low back issues myself for years, I know how life changing these issues can be. When it first happened to me at 19 years old my GP told me that sport was over for me. I was devastated because sport was a huge part of my life up until then. I had to give up rugby and discus throwing. It was only a few years later that I found someone, outside of mainstream medicine, who was able to improve my back so that I could at least run and cycle again. That was so motivating, even if the chance to participate at higher levels of sport had passed me by, by then.
So my aim now is to get people more mobile, able to exercise if they wish, and more hopeful about their quality of life, able to do more with themselves. As well as becoming more balanced, including with energy and calm.
I have scheduled Pro Bono days for the rest of the year from May, so please share my website, or this page, with anyone you know that may benefit. Or click on this link to book now.
With caring and kindness,
Rhys Dwyer
If you know anyone, from kids up who maybe struggling with body-held tension, energy levels, stress, anxiety, or choices, then please ask them to check me out. Bodywork and present moment awareness may just make a big difference.
Note that bodywork is always complimentary to prudent medical care.