One of the best things we can do for ourselves is to accept ourselves as we are in this moment. There will likely be some things we don’t like about ourselves, things that aggravate us. Maybe there is some dark secret or desire, some icky thing, that we still crave at times, but we feel guilty when we think about it. (Let’s call it “chocolate” but we can substitute our own guilty pleasure or vice.) Perhaps we deny that we crave chocolate. We don’t even admit to our closest friends that we have this secret wanting for chocolate. Sometimes when we’re alone we binge on chocolate, without even thinking about it. We know that chocolate has bad side-effects for us. We know that the bad definitely outweighs (so to speak) the good. We feel guilty that others can see the effect of these side-effects and that makes us feel bad. But we continue to hide the obsession away from others. For a while we deny that we still want chocolate. We know it is no good for us. But then something upsets us, and we reach for our favourite crutch to make us feel better in the moment, because chocolate tastes so good. Which makes us feel disgusted with ourselves again afterwards.
So we’re in this constant state of conflict with ourselves, denial and disgust.
The most powerful thing you can do for yourself is accept that your icky thing is there, own up to it, and decide to deal with it. It sounds too simple. But in that moment you accept that this is what you’ve got, it is already on the road to transforming. Its out in the open, and you will deal with it, trust me. Because dealing with things is always best done in the present. Because the icky thing is usually about some fear of future, or guilty past. But right here, in the bright light of day, it’s not so bad.
Let’s say our weight gain is a problem. The weight is already there. It’s the product of past present moment decisions. The only one we can control going forward is this one. Intellectually we know that we need to cut carbs, reduce portion size, eat healthier, exercise more. But we have this urge to spoil ourselves right now. So instead we eat a carrot or have a drink of water, savour the taste of that in this moment, and the icky moment has passed. Decisions we make in this moment are the only ones that count. Accept our icky stuff and use it to transform ourselves into something pretty damn remarkable instead!